geometric unanchored cacti

it hit me for six[teen makes it legal, my darling]
and maybe you were not the one for me
do you still wear odd socks?
are you still playing that bloody piano?
[are you still the most beautiful thing on this earth?]
do you still write life stories for strangers?

i saw a couple weeping by the roadside
a young son, blonde hair, tanned
never quite made the football team
never really cared
smiling in that photo on your mantelpiece
maybe they went home and stripped off their wallpaper
to find the crayon starship he drew
they wept for their loss

iwept for mine
money i had saved, which i need
[more than breathing]
a train ticket to someone i love
but who will it be? will he be there still?

i wish i was strong enough to make them
pay
for hurting me
i cannot cope with long distance feelings
but i have a real skill for running away
am i weak for coming last?
or maybe you did not expect me to try
to let you see hoe much your 
touch [sweet kisses stolen from bestfriendboyfriends]
hurt me? every time i think of you

i am Not Yet Diagnosed, but Nervous nonetheless
miss broken-hearted, three years running
find a penny, pick it up
and all day long the rust will get into your blood

love is a drug, and he was an addict
i was just a social smoker, who liked her own company
we were not the ones who painted your town red
the bombs did that for us
claret can mean blood or beer
he liked to pretend both meant we were soulmates

i plan to die of lead poisoning 
[a sword through the base of my clooarbones]
do you mean it, truly, darling?
or does that laugh spell out -N-O-?
language barriers mean nothing
but the metal from all those pennies
seems to have formed me a red shell to hide under
[she sells sea shells, broken and pink
i sold my body, to drive him to drink]

violet violent screams up my arms
are forming me a lovely exoskeleton
maybe i am a latent butterfly
maybe i mean the insect
and this is all a pleasant[?] fantasy
before i become soemthing for you to kill and keep
oh, wait, never mind...
i thought these pins were not "just for decoration"

i met the chink in your armour
and he seems nice enought

there are lights that shine in windows 
for people i will never meet, and still love MORE THAN YOU
boyfriends i nevereverwill
i am scared to have children
no matter who they are, they will smile like him
[and, hell, i might end up a parent like you]
all sweet innocence and hidden burns

in love under duress
plants die faster than kisses
maybe when you break i will stop thinking you are perfect
and have the guts to burn this shithole down
cut off the bite
no doctors neccessary
maybe by then you will be a different person
maybe i will stop loving you so badly