what i can do when you're gone

When you are gone, and I am organising everything,
I will not put dates on your tombstone,
because you are alive in my heart.

When I wake up, I will be holding my pillow,
and wondering where you went
when you were hugging me just now.

When I roll over, looking for you,
I will be so confused, for a moment
because you're not next to me.

When I'm ill, I will lay in bed all day,
and forget that you won't come in
with a tray of food and another blanket.

When I am hungry, I will stand in the kitchen
confused
because you always cooked.

When I do the washing, I will
spend hours looking for your favourite shirt,
until I remember you were buried in it.

When I go shopping, I will
buy all your favourite foods, just in case
you're at home when I return.

When I see my friends, I will feel 
mildly offended, if they don't ask after you,
before I remember why.

When it is your birthday,
I will plan a surprise party for you,
then have it alone at home.

When it is our anniversary,  I will go 
to your grave, with a chisel and carve another 
flower down the edge, so you know.

When I go to sleep, I will say goodnight,
tell you I still love you,
and hold out my hand for yours.